I’ve discovered that the world really doesn’t revolve around me! Okay, it would be kind of weird for me to be almost 28 years old and just now figure that out. Obviously I’m joking, but we all need little reminders sometimes and I had one recently.
I go to a relatively small church, so everyone knows everyone, or at least knows of everyone, and it’s easy to spot a visitor. I’ve been going to the same church for five years now, so most people know all my drama from the last few years. We’ve had alot of new people at church over the last several months, but I guess I’ve just assumed that people talk. (I don’t even mean gossip, I just mean the normal everyday stuff. The whole town knew about my situation, so it’s not like I expect it to be a big secret.)
A couple Sunday’s ago, a woman that hasn’t been going to our church too terribly long, walked up to me and said, “I never see your husband at church with you.” This really surprised me. Even if she didn’t know my whole story, I thought she would know that I was a single mom. I told her, “I’m single… I mean I’m divorced.” (Not sure which one sounds worse.)
I wasn’t upset or offended that she assumed I had a husband, I just really didn’t expect it. As far as I know, unless there’s someone new that I haven’t met yet, I’m the only single mom at our church. I think I’m the only single woman at the church, between the ages of 17 and 60. I always feel conspicuous, so this made me feel a little bit better. Another part of me wishes that everyone did know already, because I always worry that someone will judge me when they hear my story, and I would rather not see that on their faces if I have to tell them.
(Disclaimer: I don’t feel like I go to a judgemental church. I’ve been treated very well and realized who many of my friends really are in the last two and a half years. This is just one of my issues, I’m always worried about that judgement, although I have yet to experience it to my knowledge.)
So, it’s great to know that everyone isn’t talking about me all the time, but if someone asks what my story is, just tell them. That way I don’t have to.
6 Comments
September 29, 2008 at 9:35 pm
You are so sweet – good heart too! She should have looked at your finger! Silly woman! Here is a funny thing . . . My husband and I don’t go to the same services. Most people never see us together . . . I bet over half the church thinks I am single and vice versa!
September 30, 2008 at 12:26 pm
Hey there! I can relate to your story somewhat. No one has ever asked me about a husband, but I delt along time with crawling my way back to church, dealing w/ my insecurities and “thinking” everyone was talking about me. After allot of prayer and surrender To God I have gotten passed this (for the most part, b/c we all have some level of insecurity). I have a very loving church too, and am now involved in leading a bible study. I have learned to let go of allot of my own guilt and shame and just give every part of my life to God b/c I have finally found a place inside where I have grown to desire to truely live for Him; especially b/c I want to be a shinning example of Jesus to my daughter. I pray for you my dear friend and know that Jesus is all that matters. He loves you and accepts you the way that you are. I am sure that you know this, but I just wanted to give you a spiritual hug today. God bless and please stop by and be encouraged at my blog when you can. Your single mom friend in Christ, Robin
September 30, 2008 at 12:51 pm
I completely understand. It’s so hard to refrain from wondering what others think about your situation– especially when you don’t know what they do or don’t know. I have really stuggled with this in the past, but the Lord has been always quick to remind me that I am justified because He is my justification. Everyone will not always understand, but God has seen the road that we have traveled. I have also struggled with stopping myself from explaining everything to everyone. It used to really exhaust me when people asked if I was married, divorse, or what because it’s seems like such a loaded question, but I’ve learned to just give a short answer and trust the Lord to answer any questions they may have about me or my situation.
September 30, 2008 at 2:10 pm
Umm, had you but asked me I could have told you with certainty that the world revolves around me. Could have saved you some time.
September 30, 2008 at 2:21 pm
Ahh to be different than the status quo…People at my dad’s church give me very sympathetic looks, which makes me wonder what he’s told them. I also get a lot of hugs from these people, most of which I don’t even know their names. Its very unnerving, not knowing what type of information is out there, but obviously people have made up their minds about you already.
September 30, 2008 at 2:50 pm
Sorry you had to go through that awkward situation.
I’m sure you handled it with grace and class.
May God bless you and your family richly.
David