Daniel

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Here are the prompts for this weeks Writer’s Workshop:
1.) Tell us about a stray animal you took in. 
2.) Write a poem for your favorite teacher of all time.
3.) Describe someone in your life you wish you saw more of.
4.) Write a letter to someone who bothered you this week.

 

I don’t have any great stray animal stories, I can’t write poetry, and you really don’t want to hear me whine about my mean customers (husband and wife) that have called me everyday this week.  Yeah, it didn’t end on Monday.  So, since my letter might not be very nice, I’m going to go with #3.  I’m cheating because this was already half written and now I have a reason to finish it.

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Growing up, I didn’t have any very many close girlfriends. I was a bit of a tomboy and usually hung out with the guys.  (Probably why I still have such a hard time making female friends as an adult.)  Sure, I went to a few sleepovers (hated them and never fit in – who wants to dance to Amy Grant cds?), and I had friends now and then, but I don’t have any lifelong best friends, like most of the women I know.  My constant friend through life was always my cousin, Daniel. 

As children we lived across the country from each other, but we always picked our friendship right back up when we were together, and then as teenagers we lived in the same town (except off and on when he would live with his dad).  Daniel and I were the oldest in our clan of cousins (there was about 15 of us), and only six months apart in age, so that’s probably part of the reason we stuck together.  The cousins were divided into three groups: “the boys,” “the girls,” and “the little kids.”  The boys and the girls hung out sometimes, but we fought a bit and played pranks on each other.  We really didn’t associate with the “little kids” at all, except when I was babysitting them. 

I was one of ”the boys.”  We ranged in age from about 9 to 14 and we would spend all day building rafts to float in the creek or building forts in the woods or playing poker for candy or getting chased by herds of cattle (you should definitely try it sometime – great fun).  The other girls wanted to be part of the boys group (in fact they really didn’t like me at all), but Daniel was my in.  We were inseparable.  If it wasn’t for him, I would have been stuck with the girls too.  (These “girls” are now the cousins and sister that I hang out with and have girl’s nights with, so I guess they’ve forgiven me.)

I’m still here in Tennessee and Daniel moved to Ohio to live with his grandparents and, after graduating, to party go to college.  At first everything was still “Daniel and Jennifer” but then we just grew apart.  Of course, I was doing the whole marriage (way too young) and kid thing and Daniel was trying to make it as a musician and doing whatever else he set his mind to at that moment.  He’s always going from one thing to the next, so it’s hard to keep up with him.  When Shiloh was about 8 months old Daniel came to visit.  He didn’t even know I had a baby.  I’m guessing that means he probably didn’t know all my marriage drama either.  

For awhile I was angry at him.  Maybe just because I needed to be angry at someone and I’m good at directing my anger at the wrong people.  I was angry that he wasn’t the same Daniel that I grew up with and loved.  I was angry that he acted like some sort of celebrity when he visited for the holidays.  Like we were all supposed to gather at his feet and gaze adoringly at him.  Seriously, this is how I felt.  Then I realized that it’s not his fault the family treats him this way.  We don’t see him much and everyone in our huge family wants time with him when he’s here.  I can’t put the blame on him for losing touch either, because it’s not like I’ve kept in contact.  At least he called me on my 18th birthday and on Shiloh’s 1st birthday (although I have a feeling that his mom may have had something to do with that). 

I miss him.  Even when he’s here, I miss the closeness we used to have.  The thing is, he’s still the same Daniel.  Different in some ways, but really the same.  I’ve probably changed more than he has, but then I’m still the same in some ways too.  We just grew up.  And we weren’t together for those growing up years, so we grew apart. 

Daniel and I are total opposites, and always have been.  He’s outgoing and loves attention.  I’m quiet (at first) and stay in the shadows.  He’s a lady’s man (and has been since he was like 5) and I’m a dork.  He’s a wimp and I’m usually the brave one (especially when it comes to pain).  He’s a musician and I can’t even clap in time to music.  He’s impulsive and I’m a planner.  He’s a dreamer and I’m a realist.  He’s easily angered and I’m usually calm.  He craves change and I hate it.  He’s daring and I’m fearful.  I think we made each other look at things from a different perspective.  Maybe that’s why we were so different and yet such good friends.  He (almost) made me cool by association when we were teenagers.

I got to see him again this month.  He visited with his girlfriend right after the first of the year.  After getting past the fact that he actually has a serious girlfriend (big shock because he usually has a different girlfriend everytime I see him), I discovered that he’s become a little more laid back.  A little more like the Daniel I used to know and less like the superstar he acted like for awhile.  He’s still Daniel and still craves attention, but he acts like himself again.  (It could simply be that my perspective has changed.  I’m not really sure.)  I didn’t get to see him for long or hang out with him much, since he was only here for like two days, but I enjoyed seeing him.  Supposedly him and his girlfriend are thinking about moving to either Nashville or Chicago.  I’m predicting he’ll pick Chicago, because I think he likes being away from family, but I’m hoping he picks Nashville.  I doubt that we would hang out much if he lived close, but at least there would be some opportunity.  The thing about Daniel is that he doesn’t think to invite you somewhere or ask you to hang out, but if you show up, he’s cool with it.  I think he enjoys being around family, but he doesn’t like to be tied down and have too many expectations put on him. 

Here is how he describes himself on his myspace profile:  “Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children. Hardworking. High spirited. Totally BADASS. Best person you’ll ever meet!…”  I’m not going to add the last part because it’s kind of embarrassing to me, although pretty funny seeing how his mom and sister and cousins and aunts read his myspace page.  Haha.  I don’t care how “cool” he is or how old he gets, he’s still a dork.  (I mean that in the nicest way.)

Here are a couple other things I would add to his description.  He’s kindhearted and good at reading people.  It always tripped me out that he could tell exactly what I was thinking.   

I wish I had some pictures of us as kids, but I don’t have a scanner, so this will have to do. 

I miss my friend.  But I’m proud of him too.  Proud that he is brave enough to follow his dreams and get out of his comfort zone.  I’m proud that he accepts people the way they are and doesn’t put impossible expectations on them.  I’m proud to call him my cousin.  (Not so proud that I’m still the dork.)

For more Writer’s Workshop go here.

* Couldn’t figure out how to make that picture smaller (I copied it off of myspace), so I gave up.

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Tags: family, friends, growing up, life, memories, pictures, random stuff, Writer's Workshop