Friday night. 10:30pm. Shiloh’s sleeping.
So I’m sitting watching a movie and it hits me out of the blue. I’m lonely. Just one of those nights where I don’t want to be alone, but I am.
And then I realized… I’m okay. I’m lonely, but it isn’t that bad. A couple years ago this mood would have ruined my whole weekend. But now the loneliness feels familiar. Like an old friend.
Not that I’m lonely all the time, because I’m definitely not. But it hits now and then and I’m to the point that I can see past it. I know that I’ll get through it. It’s almost a comfortable feeling now. That makes no sense, but it is what it is.
I’m a little bit sad, wishing for… I don’t even know what. But I’m still looking forward to a day with Shiloh tomorrow. And under the loneliness, I’m still happy. Because I choose to be. But for the moment, I’m still lonely.
9 Comments
July 11, 2009 at 8:22 am
I can relate to this post…Keep writing, it’s good stuff.
July 11, 2009 at 9:06 am
It definitely sounds like a girls night is due! Love you!
July 11, 2009 at 11:41 am
**sigh**
I understand.
July 11, 2009 at 11:52 am
We all get thet way sometimes. I find it kind of cyclical to me. At the moment, I have two teenagers keeping me on the run, so I don’t find it so bad right now, but they leave soon. I used to curl up with them when they were Shiloh’s age and just watch Disney movies with them. But they can’t give you that adult interaction at that age so you do get kind of lonely.
But this too shall pass. We make the sacrifices we need to today so we can smile tomorrow.
Cheers and I hope you feel better!
July 11, 2009 at 7:47 pm
Definitely understandable. Being a single parent can be lonely at times. Hope you had fun today!
July 11, 2009 at 8:18 pm
I’m sorry you’re lonely…if I lived nearby, I’d come over!
July 11, 2009 at 10:19 pm
I’m sad that you’re feeling lonely, but happy that underneath your loneliness you are happy!
I hope you had a fun day with Shiloh!
God bless!
July 12, 2009 at 7:45 pm
It comes to me too, when watching a movie.
*sigh* understood
July 17, 2009 at 12:03 am
You hit the very familiar nail on the head. I think most of us single parents *get* this feeling.