Trust

Tonight it crossed my mind how dependent children are on us. And how trusting. It’s almost scary.
Shiloh was sleeping in her room and I was doing homework in the living room. She woke up and started crying, and I could tell it was her scared cry. As soon as I picked her up, she was [...]

This & That

Quick weekend recap:

My sister and brother-in-law were in town.
We had a girl’s night Saturday night.
Five women, two little girls, pizza, ice cream, a movie (don’t ask about the movie), and lots of talking.

You’re going to ask about the movie, aren’t you?  …Okay, it was a documentary on midwives.  I have some odd friends.  My cousin [...]

The Sunday Blahs

I kind of have the Sunday night blahs.  It’s 11pm and I don’t want to sleep (although I need to), but I just feel… yuck.  No reason.  Probably because I’m tired. 
I’m feeling a little bit lonely, which is totally stupid, since I haven’t had a moment to myself all weekend.  I think it’s the same [...]

Early Mid-Life Crisis?

Maybe not.  But I feel like I’m changing.  I don’t recognize myself lately.  I never in a million years ever considered becoming a teacher, and now I’m about to start working toward my teaching degree.  (Yes, I still want to do the librarian thing, but one step at time people.)
When I was in my early [...]

Ghost of Boyfriends Past

I think God has a sense of humor.  How else can you explain the fact that I just happen to run into my ex-boyfriend at the social security office (I was there to get mine and Shiloh’s last names changed), when there is a long wait and I can’t escape with a quick hi?  Now this [...]

Conversation With God (Seriously)

So I should be in bed right now.  (What’s new, right?)  But I had to write this down before the moment passed. 
Tonight I was getting ready for bed, brushing my teeth, washing my face, etc.  I was thinking about a blog post that I want to write on humorous things about being single.  As I was [...]

One Step Back

I’m having one of those moments where my life feels like a charade.  Like I’ve been fooling myself and I’m still exactly where I was three years ago.  Like I’ve never moved forward or healed at all. 
I hate that the smallest thing can bring back those feelings.  Fear.  Loneliness.  Anger.  Uselessness.  Embarrassment.  Shame.
It’s so rare for me [...]

Legal Stuff

I was going to blog last night, but my brother came over and was playing online poker until 11pm.  Okay, he did offer me the computer if I needed it, but I told him I didn’t.  Anyway, just a few updates…
I went back to the lawyer’s office yesterday.  I had to give them a copy [...]

More Thoughts On Relationships

* I originally wrote this back in February as the second part to this post.  For some reason, I just never published this second half.  I’m posting it tonight because I need to post something, and I don’t have much of interest to say.  Plus I don’t want to waste my quiet Sunday evening (Shiloh fell [...]

Three Years Ago…

Three years ago my whole world turned upside down.  I found out that the life I had been living was a lie.  That my husband of five and a half years was someone I didn’t even know.  And I was four months pregnant when everything happened.
I thought that my life was over.  I didn’t care [...]